This month we’ve been pontificating on the need to be assertive, and how it differs from being aggressive. Here is some FFT (Food for Thought):
Assertive behaviors…
- Assertive people are not afraid to express their opinions, and honor themselves by standing up for their beliefs.
- Assertive people respect others as equals, with the intention of exuding mutual respect.
- Assertive people are not afraid to express their needs to others.
- Assertive people value a fair exchange of ideas.
- Assertive people have no intention of hurting anyone, including themselves.
- Assertive people look for the win:win.
Aggressive behaviors are the converse –
- Aggressive people come across as needing to win.
- Aggressive people see hurting another as a bi-product of a “successful” communication or negotiation.
- Aggressive people are self focused instead of solution centered.
- Aggressive people feed into others’ fears rather than confidence.
The caution about focusing on asserting yourself and your opinions is that some people will take it too far… they will elect a passive approach which can honor others, but sacrifice themselves. Asserting yourself, although never intended, might hurt others. The passive approach avoids hurting others at the expense of hurting yourself.
The bottom line as I see it is that assertive people respect others and themselves equally.
So, which path will you choose? Passive? Aggressive? Assertive?
