Full disclosure, I absolutely HATE the words “constructive criticism.” I think that they are not only an oxymoron, but they are overused, misused, and misunderstood.
BUT – people use these words.
I don’t believe that there is such a thing as constructive criticism. I do believe in feedback, and lots of it.
Too many people do it all wrong. And one of the starting points for those troubles is for those wanting or needing to provide feedback is to be thinking of feedback as criticism.
It is a downer from the start. Even before the conversation happens.
Words really matter.
The word “criticism” is a downer. The minute you think you will be criticizing someone, it not only lifts you to a higher elevation than the person you are criticizing but sets you in the mode of being “critical.” Judge and jury. A very bad way to start.
I am a very strong proponent of feedback as being positive and energizing. We have several posts about HOW to provide helpful feedback, but for the moment, our challenge to you is to forever banish the words “constructive criticism” from your vocabulary arsenal.
Instead, try these:
- “Here is some helpful feedback.”
- “May I coach you on this?”
- “What worked for you? What didn’t?”
- “How can we do even better with this?”
What other phrases have worked for you? Please share!
Is there another approach we. can take?
Could there be something we haven’t thought of??
How about “would you mind if I coach you about xxx?”