One of the expressions I use alot in the email messaging world is, “If there is ANY chance an email message might be misinterpreted, it will be!”
The times that folks have told me about email misunderstandings are countless. I’m sure you’ve had your share as well – both coming and going.
Here are some tips to deal with that hurtful or angering email you just received:
- Don’t overreact. Chances are, that message was not intended the way you interpreted it. When you overreact, it can sometimes muddy your thinking. This is the way misinterpretations escalate. So – keep your cool.
- Read it again. Now that you have not overreacted, go back and reread the message, putting yourself in the place of the writer. Thinking clearly, without clouding your interpretations with emotions can be very useful.
- Give the benefit of the doubt. Even if you have read the message several times, and it remains angering or hurtful, cut the sender a break.
- Get clarification. If none of the above is helping your situation, pursue clarification. Depending on the nature and degree of hurt, the best suggestion is to contact the person either by phone or in person, and without condemning, ask for simple clarification. Once again, this is where giving them the benefit of the doubt will be to your advantage. It is better to assume their intentions were to not be hurtful rather than to assume that they were. IF it is something quite simple, an email message asking for clarification, quoting the portion of the message that concerned you may be all that is needed – but, trust me, that may not end the controversy. The best clarification is a dialogue.
As mentioned previously, emotion and tone do not always carry over well in email. Instead of responding angrily in an email response, seek the win: win as soon as possible. Too much damage can be done by multiple emails firing back and forth, copying others and involving them in the controversy as well. And the best way to do this is with a personal visit or call – always.
