What do you think when you hear the word "networking?" Many of the business people I know actually cringe when they hear that word. It becomes a "should" for them. Meaning, they know it is something they need to do for their business, but it is something they really don't like doing.

I was fortunate to be asked to present to the NAMIC Claims Conference in San Antonio a few weeks ago on this very topic. My goal was to help the attendees shift their thinking about networking from a "should" to a "want to." A very interesting thing happened.

Part of the issue with all of this is semantical. It is about the word "networking." People associate it with having to do something they don't want to do, with potentially being insincere, to having to go out of their comfort zones to make conversation with strangers, and confusion about the steps to take after the networking effort. To many, it feels like a necessary evil.

So let's turn this around. Let's shift the word networking to something more positive — building relationships — having fun conversations — helping others succeed — being curious about people and their businesses.

The transformation is almost immediate. When we shift from thinking of networking as necessary but awkward to something that can actually be fun and interesting, the whole process takes on a new aura.

At the conference, I asked participants to find a stranger. I challenged the attendees to be truly curious about their conversation partner. I challenged them to not think about their next question until the partner finished his or her last sentence. By employing Stephen Covey's challenge to "listen to understand rather than to respond," the people in these dyads actually found their conversations to be interesting and energizing. And, believe it or not, they wanted more time for the exercise.

No, networking is not about collecting business cards. It is about building relationships, one at a time. It is better to have one or two deeper (and more fun) conversations, than 10 surface conversations.

The rest of this newsletter has more helpful tips for you and how to elevate the enjoyment you feel as you build your personal and professional relationships. And we have a special offer, which will be available only through this newsletter for a three MP3 series on building networks, how to create an elevator speech, and how to maximize your referrals. We will spend the rest of this month's blog posts and podcasts on the subject of networking, so stay tuned, share, and enjoy!

Seven Networking Tips for People who Don't Like Networking (20 second read)

Business Cards – Are They Better to Give or Receive? (10 second read)

The Most Difficult Thing about Networking (10 second read)

Here is a productivity Tip regarding managing your business cards. Assuming that you've had a great conversation with someone who you have enjoyed, at the end of the conversation, ask for his or her business card. In many cases there is something you may have agreed to share, do, or assist. Write that information directly on the business card. And place the business card in a place you can't ignore upon your return to the office. Follow-up within 24 hours, and your relationship is solidified. If you keep your contacts' information in a database such as ACT or GoldMine, enter the information immediately, and schedule a follow-up as appropriate.

"I don't set out to be connected. My business has allowed me to meet lots of interesting people, some of whom have become friends; but you can't force it. This terrible word - 'networking' - I really hate." — Ben Elliot

"Personal relationships are always the key to good business. You can buy networking; you can't buy friendships." —Lindsay Fox

Here is your monthly challenge:

Engage three "strangers." In the next month, whether you are at a professional event or a social event, take a quick step out of your comfort zone and introduce yourself to someone you don't know, or someone you have not had any meaning full conversation with. Remember that most people feel very comfortable talking about themselves, so introductory questions about their interests, their passions, their hobbies can be great conversation starters. Listen carefully, and don't allow yourself to come up with the next question until the person has completed their full answer. Do this three times in March, and trust me, you will have built three new business or personal relationships!