This week’s Monday Motivator was a challenge to you to employ the strategy of using the words “not now” rather than a simple no. Here’s a bit more on that tactic.
When we talk about using the words “not now” we don’t really mean that you must use those exact words, but the spirit of the comment is what is important.
Many times we will be asked to do things that don’t fit with our personal or professional goals, that aren’t as important as what we want or need to spend time on, they are over and above our job descriptions, they are invasive, or even just plain silly.
Quite simply, when you want or need to say “no” to just about anything, many people hesitate to the point that “no” turns into “yes.” I know, we have all been there!
“No” seems harsh, uncaring, not team spirited, and negative. Thus, the reason many of us have a difficult time saying that two letter word.
“Not now” to the rescue!
When you communicate that you can’t do something, but you might be able to do it in the future, it does several things.
- First, it provides the response that you ultimately want to communicate.
- It validates the request. it says thank you, and I understand your need .
- It opens the door for you to be able to consider a similar request in the future.
- It feels less negative, which makes it more likely that you will say ” not now.”
- The door is not completely closed…
- Here’s an example. You are asked to join a committee for your child’s school program. You know truly that you are overcommitted , and can’t take on any more projects. Instead of allowing that no to turn into a yes, your response can be, “Gee that seems like a great effort, I am rather overcommitted right now, but could be interested in working on something like that in the future.”
- The only caution about making statements like this is that you really shouldn’t leave the door open for consideration if it is something you just really don’t ever want to do. In that case, a simple and caring ” I’m really not interested in that kind of project” will do.
- Saying no or not now is a way of saying yes to yourself, and applying the boundaries that will make your life more fulfilling.
