I get this question a lot – “How Do I Motivate Others to Want to Improve?”
The age old response is that you can’t. You can’t motivate others to want to do anything, but you CAN provide the environment and stimulation for them to motivate themselves.
Sure you can FORCE someone to do something. You can demand it. You can require it. That is not any form of motivation that works over time.
Instead, working with the person to find the button(s) that resonate with him or her – those thoughts that will engage the person in understanding the reasons for growth, and causing them to WANT to grow.
Let’s be clear, you can’t “make” others want to be better.
This is a change issue, which means it is a choice issue. Which means you need to help the other person see a clear picture of what better looks like, internalize the benefits of “being better”, and perhaps most importantly see themselves as capable of reaching that level of improvement.
This requires discussion. Ongoing discussion. Caring about the person. Hearing what they want for themselves, not what you want for them. Working with them as they make choices about their future. Having their best interests at heart.
Then, and only then, will they choose a course of improvement for themselves.
