When people work together, invariably two of ’em won’t get along. They’ll feud. Or even declare war.
What’s a manager to do?
The answer is NOT to play referee. Unfortunately, alot of managers assume this role when those employee wars surface. Caution. Caution. Danger. Danger. If you do it once, you’ll hafta do it again. And again. Mark my word. Why? Because you just rewarded the behavior.
This is when I encourage my manager clients to coach rather than ref.
Coach each individual on how to resolve the conflict, rather than bring the two parties together like a school teacher might.
Whether they involve you or not, when you get to the point that the “war” is impacting your team’s success, you can coach your way to a solution.
Individual discussions with each person might go like this:
“I’m not sure how or why this conflict you have with Pat has come about, but I’m sure you’ll agree that it isn’t useful for our team. (You can insert specific examples here if you want.) If you agree that eliminating or minimizing this conflict would be helpful, I am willing to work with you on the actions and conversations you need to have with Pat. Is that something you’d be willing to work on?
And when they’ve agreed to work with you, be sure to make them accountable for following through with the course of action they’ve chosen.
Follow up with them individually. But don’t take the problem on as your own. It is THEIRS to fix.
Remember that.
