How do you deal with defensive people? – The ones who push back and want to blame everyone but themselves?
This is a tough one, and my guess is that most people in management have had to deal with situations like this. We talked earlier about a natural bent towards defensiveness when needing to meet with the boss, so defensive reaction can be expected. 
When it turns to blaming others, that becomes a psychological thing that is best that we don’t get involved in or try to address. Some people do turn defensiveness into anger and blame, and it is simply just not useful for us to engage. There is a fine line between coaching for performance and practicing psychology – and if you don’t have a license, best to not practice.
Our job is to point out what needs to change for them to be successful in their work.
When we do it respectfully and caringly, and in a way that preserves a person’s self-image, we can’t really predict how they’re going to respond. The key is to maintain the high road and reward the performance we want to see.
NOTE: This is an excerpt of one of the many questions answered in our newly released e-book, “The Feedback Formula – How to Share Constructive Criticism that Works” Click here for more info…
