There is a Spanish proverb that says “He who gossips to you will gossip about you.”
I have found this to be right on the money. Gossips don’t turn it on and off, or perhaps they can’t.
And of course, it’s not your place to change them, but you can choose whether to listen or not. In my view, listening to gossip not only validates the information but encourages the gossiper to continue this nasty and usually hurtful behavior.
Listening to gossip can be a threat to your career and well being. Here’s why:
- The person gossiping to you will most likely gossip about you
- Your listening affirms the behavior of someone who is detracting from a positive atmosphere, furthering divisive conversations
- Your listening, even if you don’t pass it on, places you in the same category as the gossiper
- Gossiping is seen as a negative by those in position to help you move ahead
To defend against gossipers: STOP LISTENING!
Such an easy remedy, yet for some it is difficult to do.
The truth: When you stop listening to gossip, you will most likely lose the friendship and attention from the gossiper. Be prepared for it. And while you may mourn the loss for a brief time, the long term impact will be more healthy.
What other gossip-busting strategies have worked for you?
